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The New Life Waited for Her
By Dominique Macias
Stephanie Archuleta, a mother of four who co-owns two businesses with her husband, Raymond Anchondo, is rebuilding her life after surviving domestic abuse. She is also making peace with her story for herself, her future and her family.
As a college student at New Mexico State University, she had dreams for her future. Above all, she wanted to become a business owner.
For Archuleta, life changed when she met her former husband at 20. At 22, she married him. Over the next 12 years, she said, he abused her and isolated her from her family and friends. The first thing she lost, she said, was her freedom. Isolation became her new normal.
Photo courtesy of Archuleta
“Now going back and looking at everything, isolating me from my family and friends—that was something that seemed subtle, but it ended up having a huge impact on my life,” Archuleta said.
As the abuse and manipulation continued, Archuleta said she began to feel as though there was no way out.
“Nobody knew. Since there was nobody to reach out to; nobody to tell. No one could give me any guidance or see the abuse.”
In her 20s, amid trauma, she said it became difficult to see the situation clearly. Her spouse became the only constant in her life.
“He got me to a point where I depended on him for everything. I didn’t have a credit card, bank account, or education. I worked for him. Then having children with him, I relied on him. Even through the isolation, he made himself the only person I had,” Archuleta said.
In 2013, Archuleta fled with her children, including her newborn twin girls and a 12-year-old, leaving behind her home, her marriage and the life she had known.
“I thought he was going to kill me. And since I had four kids. I couldn’t imagine them without a mom or a dad. I had to get out for them,” Archuleta said as she choked up.
Archuleta returned to her parents’ home with more than bruises on her face. Leaving did not erase the pain, she said. Much of it remained hidden, and she needed to unpack and unlearn it for herself and her children.
Archuleta said her focus was simple: provide for her children and give them hope after years of hopelessness.
“I just needed to figure out a way to provide for my kids. I just thought about trying to give them hope, because it had been such a hopeless situation for such a long time.”
A mother’s strength, courage and willpower can leave a lasting impression. Archuleta said she wanted her children to see her keep going.
“I thought that if they saw me fall down and never get back up, that would be a bad reflection to them about perseverance.”
She returned to her parents’ home with only $20 to her name.
“This was the very last day that I was with him. This is what he did to me. When I came back, this is what my parents saw,” Archuleta said.
Rebuilding her confidence was a process she had to teach herself.
“I left with zero confidence and self-esteem. But I had kids who needed me, and the one thing that surprised me the most was that I didn’t realize how broken I was—that would take years of recovery,” Archuleta said.
Becoming a single mother while uprooting her entire life brought a grief she had never known, she said.
“For the first year, I was in constant depression; I couldn’t even get out of bed. Then in the second year, my life started to turn around a little bit. I knew that the only one that could help me was God, and so for five years straight, I prayed for God to heal me and to give me a business, and a new husband; every single day,” Archuleta said.
Archuleta said she never lost faith, but the experience deepened it.
“I was a Christian since I was in college, but I never realized how much God loved me, until this happened.”
Today, Archuleta said, safety in her new marriage and home life means freedom.
“Safety feels like the ability to have freedom to go places, do things, create businesses, wake up whenever you want to, have as much money as you want to have your own bank account.”
That sense of safety and freedom helped bring her back to herself. When asked what she would say to the version of herself who was still living through the abuse, Archuleta did not hesitate.
“I would just tell her that I’m proud of her because I know that she’s going to make it for her kids,” Archuleta said.
Now, with two businesses and a growing family, Archuleta is focused on the future. Her message is rooted in perseverance and hope.
“Never give up. Never lose faith and hope. There’s always a version of a person that made it out the other end.”
