El Paso’s Julian Kalel, 19, appeared on “American Idol” during the Hollywood round in Nashville on Feb. 23. He performed in front of judges Lionel Richie, Carrie Underwood and Luke Bryan.

Kalel is a mental health advocate and ties his music to that mission. Ahead of tonight’s Ohana round, an interview with The City Magazine El Paso allows him to reflect on his experiences so far.

The City: How are you feeling after your Hollywood Week performance?

Julian: I’m incredibly lucky… I was really, really terrified up there. I remember being on stage and not being able to feel my legs at all. As soon as I stepped on there, said my name and started playing, something took over me. My legs weren’t there, my breath – I couldn’t breathe.

I’ve told people, it’s unironically the most difficult part of the show so far. You know, and I know there’s further rounds and people might think, doesn’t it get more difficult? Actually, no. It felt like a gauntlet in that moment. Because it’s a hundred-something people [contestants] trying to be put down [narrowed] into just 30. So, everyone around me is just like, ‘How are the judges going to make up their minds?’

I mean, this is just such a crazy group of talented people, you know? It was just a whirlwind of emotions. That had me thinking, ‘Was that enough to make it,’ but it paid off.

The City: Tell us a little about how that performance went in terms of preparation.

Julian: Yeah, so we were given a very limited rehearsal time because I mean, there’s a lot of people there. Most people have never performed with a big, huge band on in a Nashville auditorium before. I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve never done that. And so, I’m not going to lie, I had a lot of trouble figuring out and kind of navigating how to do that because in my rehearsal it was loud.

I couldn’t really hear myself singing. The guys behind me were—it was a very overpowering sound. I had to eventually get like earplugs to bring with me on stage. I’m going to say I don’t think it was perfect, but I think it was honest. I think it showed emotion, it showed, you know, vulnerability and most importantly, it connected with the audience.

I think that’s all you really need as a performer, because I will say I was really nervous at times where it prevented me to hit notes and hit runs that I wanted to do. I was really scared, but I just tried to be my full, authentic self and thank God it worked out.

The City: And you know, when you’re done with your performance and you’re looking out into the audience and everyone’s riled up and clapping, how does that feel?

Julian: I remember being completely overwhelmed with emotion in that moment because, I mean, up until that point I was, again, terrified.

My rehearsal wasn’t the best and that’s how I expected it. That’s really the only thing I had to base that [the performance] off. I was like, ‘This is not going to go very well.’ You know, I’ve never performed with a huge band in an auditorium, but with their reaction—I remember just hearing them and seeing all their faces and all those smiles, and just like I said, feeling very seen and understood in that moment for the message that I was trying to put out. I was incredibly grateful for that audience.

The City: Have you gotten any feedback that has really impacted you—really stuck with you? Whether it was from judges, fans, someone who just discovered you, etc.

Julian: I remember, well Luke Bryan told me—and he noticed and I noticed too—when I first sang that first line, I wasn’t expecting the audience to make any noise.

I remember singing “turn down the light” and then just hearing a roar. It completely caught me off guard and I had the biggest smile on my face that I couldn’t bring myself to properly sing the next line. And I remember Luke said that he was like—well, I don’t know how it came out on TV, but I remember being there and he said, “I know when you sing that first line and you saw those people or you heard those people cheering for you, it kind of threw you off. You got to get used to that. You got to get used to that kind of reaction to your performances.”

That meant the world to me because I was like, ‘Oh! That’s very nice to hear from someone like Luke Bryan.’

I’m going to try to take that advice and try my best to maintain my composure a little better and not doubt myself so much with what I can do and what I’m capable of because I was doubting myself a lot in that moment because, I mean, it was really scary. But I’m going to try my best to just stay a little more composed and grounded on the next stages that I find myself in.

Believe it or not, when I was rehearsing y’all, I was not thinking, ‘How do I prepare for the audience?’

The City: I’m sure while you’re on this journey, you’re learning a lot of lessons, you’re getting a lot of advice. So, what do you feel like you have to say to El Paso after your Hollywood round in Nashville? Are there any lessons you’ve learned that you could pass down to the community here?

Julian: It’s as simple as me learning to be myself—being my authentic, honest self no matter what. It’s hard because you’re surrounded by so much talent. It’s really hard not to compare yourself. It’s really hard not to be like, ‘How do I fix my voice? How do I fix my performance so I could sound more like this guy or that girl?’

You got to remember, and what I’ve learned, what a lot of contestants have learned, is that everyone’s unique and great in their own way. And the judges see what the judges see. We can’t really guess or make assumptions on what they like and what they don’t. So, what I had to do was just tell myself, stop comparing yourself.

Don’t worry about anyone else. Just be yourself. Be your honest, authentic self even if it’s not perfect. Because it doesn’t have to be perfect, and my performance wasn’t. I messed up a couple times. I know some people might not see that or might not hear that, but I did, but it still worked out because I was trying my absolute hardest to just be in that moment.

I just hope that some people, or a lot of us struggle with that—I hope some people can see that and realize that’s where your power comes from. That’s where strength comes from. That’s where you can really differentiate yourself from people by just being you. Don’t try to put up a façade, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be your full, authentic self and good things will happen.

The City: You talk about authenticity and sometimes authenticity could be kind of nerve racking. Do you have any tips or tricks or advice you do to kind of calm the nerves that you use yourself or you could kind of pass on to other people?

Julian: Honestly I just say this: I think worrying about what other people think is not a good enough excuse to not do something. I think it’s really hard, especially at this age, and we don’t live in the nicest world that’s very kind to expression and creativity and even trying for that matter. I’m just specifically talking at my age, you know, but you’d be amazed that you got to remember that the people that in your life, they love you for who you are, you know?

And if you’re not being yourself the people that are looking for you—how are they gonna find you? The people that are meant to be in your life that will love you for who you are. They’re not going to be able to find you if you’re not being yourself.

All I would say is that being yourself leads to a lot of good things in life and it leads to you finding the right people.

The City: Our final question is: What are you excited about? What are your next steps – what are you looking forward to?

Julian: I’m really looking forward to people tuning in for this next episode. Yeah. I hope people are going to be excited to hear that it’s [Julian’s performance] not going to be a cover. It’s going to be another original that I’m excited to perform that hopefully people can connect with.

I want to tell people every song that I choose, or I try to do in this competition is with intention. And I will, every opportunity that I get to talk about a song choice, talk about the backstory and why I chose it and, and connect it to a bigger message. I will do that because that’s my goal on this show.

It’s not for me; it’s for everyone that’s backing me. It’s for everyone supporting me. The stories that I’ve read, the messages that I’ve received, I mean, I have no choice but to kind of feel this different responsibility about this and push this message out for people that really don’t have a voice for it.

The next round in American Idol, the ‘Ohana Round’ airs Monday, March 9 on Disney+ and Hulu where Kalel will continue to perform and compete to be the next American Idol